I was introduced to my wife Hajara by a very reliable and trusted friend. When I met her I had mixed feelings. She seemed intelligent but shy. But she was not very good looking. I wasn’t sure she was a right fit for me. I wanted a beautiful lady for a wife. I wanted a well-mannered girl as well. And as far as I knew there was no law that stopped a man from seeking and finding both in his woman.
I didn’t know how to tell my friend about these feelings I was having so I just played along. I didn’t want him to think I was ungrateful of his help. Though I was conflicted I decided to give it a chance, at least to honour my friend.
Hajara and I dated for about 6 months before her parents requested that I commence marriage rites. At this point Hajara and I were not exactly in love but we were getting there. I was not sure she loved me because she was an extremely shy girl. I cared for her deeply but I could not say that I loved her when we got married.
And then it happened.
After my family had received the bride, we hosted a dinner. It was at the wedding dinner I met Amina. Love indeed lives in strange places. I fell in love with another woman at my own wedding dinner. She was resplendent and beautiful in her asoebi dress. She was simply angelic that night. She took my breath away. All I wanted to do was be around her. Imagine my delight when I realised she was an important friend to Hajara, one of her best friends. She sat literally across from me and stole my heart with her every gesture.
I was desperate to get her attention but I couldn’t since it was my wedding dinner, I had to maintain. I couldn’t wait for the sayan baki(banter between the groomsmen and bridesmaids that culminates in groomsmen paying an amount of money so that the groom may meet his bride) to commence. It would give me the opportunity to observe Amina upclose and to speak with her and- if I was really lucky, even get her number.
The Sayan Baki negotiations are usually tense and rigorous, the girls always start with a ridiculous figure and the boys always reduce that amount to an even more ridiculous figure. Because Hajara had like 20 friends, the crowd gave me an opportunity to exchange looks with Amina. I signalled her and she smiled back. I signalled her again and she nodded. I signalled her to come outside, while I pretended I was receiving a call. She did.
Amina was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, she had skin like fresh milk and a smile that would drive even satan crazy. I wanted her and I did not care. We spoke hurriedly.
‘Ango ka sha qamshi’ she hailed me. I gave her my card and begged her to please call me. I told her I was completely in love with her.
‘wallahi tallahi ina sonki! Please make sure you call me. Feel free to call me anytime my queen’ I hurriedly kissed her cheek and ran back into the house to continue the sayan baki battle.
I know it’s a terrible thing but I thought about Amina throughout my two week honeymoon. She tortured me in my mind and in my soul, she refused to call me and I had no means of reaching her. I was slowly going crazy. After the honeymoon, Hajara became less and less appealing to me, the more I compared her to Amina the more it was clear to me I had made a mistake.
After about a month I couldn’t take it anymore so I devised a plan to get to Amina. I told my wife that one of my friends was really interested in Amina, and he needed to get her contact details. It worked! In less than five minutes I had Amina’s number. If I had known it was this easy I wouldn’t have waited for a month.
As a sharp guy, I called her. Her voice was mesmerizing. Her laugh was captivating. And what’s more, she didn’t even resist me when I asked to take her out to lunch the next day. At the lunch I declared my feelings for her and I told her I was ready to do whatever it takes to have her. She did not seem to mind.
That’s how it started.
Within a short time, Amina completely controlled me. I continued to disregard my wife while I wined and dined her friend. Amina had my mumu button. I would do anything she asked, I didn’t even have time to think anything through. I was like her slave. Her wish was my command.
We went everywhere together. I didn’t care who saw us. We went overseas a couple of times. Whatever it took to make my Amina happy I would do it. All my friends thought I was under the influence of a spiritual spell, but I tried to explain that love’s spell had a stronger hold on me. At this point many of my friends started to distance themselves from me. Amina was slowly isolating me from everyone.
Through all this my wife was struggling to please me. She did everything from kayan mata to begging for love and affection. All her efforts irritated me. I wasn’t happy with her at all. She was not a good fit for me. Amina was my soulmate, and I planned to make her my wife too.
Almost exactly a year after my marriage to Hajara, I went to ask for Amina’s hand in marriage. Her uncle decided to tie the knot there and then. I was over the moon. Amina was mine in name and deed.
Hajara went ballistic, threatning fire and brimstone displaying her insecurity everywhere. I didn’t care. I told her she was walking a very thin line, I warned her to behave or else I would send her home to her parents. That seemed to do the trick.
Or so I thought.
After marrying Amina I practically forgot that Hajara existed. Amina was my priority, my everything. I often wondered why Hajara still stayed married to me despite my open disdain. I had betrayed her and maltreated her but she still stayed with me. I must admit her calm demeanour and behaviour puzzled me. Deep inside me I wanted her to react. I wanted her to provoke me. So that she would cause me to divorce her. I really felt she was a burden and an unnecessary detail in my life. Amina was beginning to complain that Hajara was still my wife, and I needed to do something quick.
One fateful day, I got a call from Hajara’s brother telling me that Hajara was very ill in hospital. What type of wahala again? I went to the hospital to find out that Hajara had some kind of sickness that required that I should be tested.
Tested? Tested for what?
The doctor and my brother in law both explained to me that Hajara had contracted some sexually transmitted disease and that I had to get tested. I was confused! Hajara had been cheating on me? Hajara had lovers? Was it HIV?
The look in the doctor’s eyes confirmed my worst fears. Hajara had been diagnosed as HIV+ and they needed to ascertain my status. A little relief came over me when I remembered that the last time Hajara and I were together as husband and wife was like 8 months ago,more relief came as I remembered also that it had been a quick bland encounter. But the doctor still insisted that I had to get the test. I took the test.
Inna Lillahi wa Inna Ilaihi Rajiun, I tested positive for HIV. I was shattered. I needed answers. I wanted to strangle Hajara to death. I asked her for an explanation. She laughed hysterically like a mad woman for about 10 minutes before she said:
‘ I am not sorry Munnir. I am very happy. My body cannot contain my joy today. Why are you surprised I had lovers? Just because you forgot I was a woman doesn’t mean other virile strong and able men did too. I sought out men that were HIV+ every Teusday when they came for their clinic at the National Hospital. At first it was hard,but the more you treated me like dirt, the less difficult it became to get men who desired and worshipped me too. It’s not only your Amina that is desirable ka gane?’
I was stunned. My entire body was shaking. My brain was swimming in circles. My mouth was dry. I wanted to talk, but the words did not come out. It was like I was screaming internally.
She laughed some more, hissed and continued:
‘ I deliberately infected myself with this virus to get to you and your precious Amina. She was my best friend and you shamelessly went after her. Mr Loverman oya come and do your worst! Until you both are dead nothing will satisfy me. It is now that I have realised what people mean by saying Revenge is sweet! Go on, do your worst! You cannot do anything to me’
The room was spinning fast.
‘ As from today I don’t want to be your wife, you stupid backstabbing bastard!’
I fell on the floor. I was hospitalised for 6 days. Amina came to the hospital and sure enough she tested positive for HIV too! My only consolation was that at least Amina was still by my side.
After I was discharged from hospital things really changed at home. Amina and I were constantly fighting. She told me she was tired and she wanted to leave me. As things stand now we are still trying to make some sense of our situation. It is a really difficult and trying time. I could have been more sensible now that I look back. And I could have treated my first wife with the respect and dignity she deserved. Beauty isn’t everything. I don’t even see Amina’s beauty anymore because of the vicious nature of our arguments and quarrels. At least Thank God for modern medicine if not we would have been walking corpses.
Thank you for sharing my DivorceDiaries. I hope you will learn a lot of lessons from my mistakes and experience.
All thanks to Jaruma Magazine Chief
Editor For Allowing Us to Re-Broadcast it
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