'I cheat
on my wife and i lie to my family' chapter Four
Before leaving for Kano, my wife, Halima
said:
"Somebody will see 'fire' in
this house if the next time I come, this girl is still here! So, don't say I
didn't warn you, Jamaal!"
After her departure, I had a
long talk with Nawwarah. I told her that much as I liked her being with me, we
could no longer live together as my wife was now aware of our relationship. "I'll
rent a place for you where you can stay. I will still take care of your needs
and be visiting you there regularly so there's nothing for you to worry
about," I assured her.
She was silent for a while.
"If I leave, what will happen
to the baby then?" she asked. "What? What are you talking
about?" I queried. She took my hand in hers. "I wanted to tell you a
few days ago, but your wife came and..." she paused before continuing:
"The thing is, I'm pregnant.
It's about two months from the test results I did at the hospital," she
disclosed. I sat up at her words. "You mean you are going to have a
baby?" I asked her quickly. Though, I had thought I was done with having
babies at my age, I was not averse to the idea of another child. It would be a
new life, a new beginning.
"Yes," she said, glancing
up at me. "What are we going to do?" she added.
"Nothing. Not at least until in
seven months when you give birth," I stated, smiling at her.
"So you are ok with it?"
she asked.
"Of course, my darling," I
said, pinching her nose playfully and hugging her.
With Nawwarah's pregnancy, the
situation changed. There was no way I could send her away when she was carrying
my baby. "I can't allow my child to grow up not knowing its
father," I said to Mubaraq, one of my older brothers who had come to visit
me from our hometown.
He nodded his head.
"You are right, my brother. So,
when are we marrying our new wife?" he inquired.
"What"? I exclaimed.
"You are going to marry her,
aren't you," he queried, with a slight frown.
I nodded.
"I've been thinking about it.
But the problem is my wife. And the children. They will definitely be against
such a union," I said. I could just imagine Halima's reaction on hearing
that I was planning to marry the same girl she had threatened to deal with the
next time she came to visit me.
My brother was talking.
"Look, Jamaal. You are
the man here. And the head of your house hold. Halima can't dictate to you what
you should do or how to live your life. What has happened is all her fault. She
left you all alone here while she remained in Kano doing God knows what. She
said she had her career and job to face. These modern women of today are too
independent for my liking. They do whatever they like and are difficult to
control," he said with a hiss.
The relationship between my
wife and Mubaraq and some of my other family members, had never been a smooth
one. My brother felt Halima was too controlling and stubborn and not submissive
enough as a good wife should be. My wife on her part saw my brother as being
too dictatorial and as she put it, 'always interfering in our lives, doing
busybody all the time! Why can't he stay in his own house and mind his
business?'
Anyway, with encouragement
from Mubaraq and other members of my family, I got married to Nawwarah after
she gave birth.
But as expected, there was stiff opposition
from Halima and my children. "It will be over my dead body for you to
marry that little husband snatcher! Jamaal, you better come to your senses.
Wake up from the spell she has cast on you!" she shouted at me angrily. We
were at my house in Kano where I had gone to break the news to them that I will
marry Nawwarah in 8 months time.
Mujaheed, my oldest child and
the other children were solidly behind their mother.
"We've always had a
united family, Dad. Why do you want to break it up now? What do you need
another wife for?" he had asked me. I did not respond because no matter
what I said, they would never understand, about my strong need for Nawwarah and
the desire to be with her. What did they know about a man's needs and the
extent he would go to get his heart's desires?
New beginning.
With all this opposition, my
marriage to Nawwarah, resultantly created a friction between me and Halima and
the children. Halima no longer wanted to have anything to do with me and
refused to visit me anymore. As for my children, with time though, they
mellowed somewhat in their stance. Some years later, when Nawwarah gave birth
to a 2nd baby, this time a little girl, they all came from Kano to
see their baby sister.
"Daddy, she looks like
you," Baraatu, my last child with Halima said. She was carrying the baby
and admiring it with Khadija, her older sister.
"And you too as she has your
eyes and nose," I quipped. They both laughed and continued to fuss over
the baby whom we named Balbasatu as she was such a cute little thing.
I saw it as their tacit way
of accepting Nawwarah and my marriage to her. Nawwarah on her part was quite
respectful to them and tried in her own way to win their affection. However,
try as she could, she could not make my first wife accept her. There was a day
we had travelled to Kano when Balbasatu was about six months old to visit Nawwarah's
parents. Later, we had gone to my house to see my first wife. She had barely
acknowledged Nawwarah's greetings and all my efforts to get the two closes
proved futile.
"What were you expecting?
That I would hold her hand and hug her? You know that will never happen! I only
allowed her here because of the child. So, just let me be," she said
curtly when I complained about her hostile attitude to Nawwarah.
I prayed that with time, she
would calm down and accept the situation.
I was happy with Nawwarah
and had no regrets marrying her. I tried to make her happy as well and one way
I did this was by helping her parents. Nawwarah was the first child out of
seven children. Her parents were not well-to-do so looking after all that brood
especially their educational needs was tough. I stepped in and assisted in training
the children who were still in school. I also set her mother up in a good
business and built a nice bungalow on the outskirts of the city for her father.
They were all very appreciative of my assistance to the family, especially Nawwarah
who could not thank me enough.
"Honey, thanks so much
for all you've been doing for my people. Allah will continue to bless you and
uplift you," she said one day about five years into our marriage. By this
time, I had retired from my job. It was before the statutory age for retirement
but I had left as I wanted to go into business. I set up a consultancy firm and
within a short time, I got a lot of jobs with the contacts I had in certain
circles.
Money rolled in great quantity
and I invested a lot of it real estate and other areas. Nawwarah had stopped
working after having her third baby, a boy who unfortunately died a few weeks
after birth. After she recovered, I told her to stop work and opened a large
boutique for her in the city as she loved fashion so much. Life was good and I
couldn't be happier.
Then, about two years ago, my
first wife, Halima fell ill. We thought it was the normal malaria but after
taking drugs for some time and the sickness persisted, she was admitted in the
hospital. It was after a series of tests were conducted that the bombshell was
dropped: that she had cancer!
The news left the whole family
shocked and Halima devastated. The doctor in charge of her case stated that due
to the advanced stage of the disease, the facilities at the hospital were
inadequate to treat her and advised that she should be taken abroad. I duly
made arrangements and had her taken to a hospital in the U.K. I accompanied her
and took Khadija along so she could stay by her mother's side.
Halima was in the hospital for
a long time, over six months. The treatment she was taking seemed to be working
and she continued to take them after she was discharged. I rented a flat in
London and that's where she stayed with Khadija to continue the treatment.
Throughout this period, I was shuttling between Nigeria and the U.K to see Halima
and monitor her progress. At first, Nawwarah was understanding about my
frequent trips abroad to see Halima as she stated that it showed, 'I was a
caring husband.' However, when I began to spend longer periods abroad with Halima,
she began to complain of neglect.
"These days, I feel like
an abandoned wife. You are hardly at home, junketing from one place to
another," she grumbled one day just after I had returned from visiting Halima
in London.
"You know why I travel- it’s
to see Halima who you are aware has been very sick. Are you expecting me to
abandon her at this period when she needs me most?" I asked in an angry
tone.
"Honey, it's not that.
It's just, I'm a woman too and I have needs," she said, coming to sit on
my lap. I pushed her off gently and got up.
"Halima is my wife too
and as long as she's sick, it's my responsibility to take care of her. I expect
you as her co-wife to understand. So, stop complaining," I stated before
marching out of the room.
"And what am I supposed
to do while you are playing nurse to her? I should just sit here and live like
a nun?" she shouted at me. I ignored her and picking up my car keys, left
the house.
With hindsight, I realized I
should have paid more attention to her as she was probably feeling neglected
and maybe a little jealous of all the attention I was giving Halima. But I
could not do otherwise. Halima was my first wife, the mother of my older
children. So, how could I abandon such a woman who had been with me through all
the ups and downs of my life?
Anyway, after Halima
completed the last stage of her treatment, she was well enough to return to
Nigeria. The children and I were all very happy that she survived such a
terrible ailment and
I travelled to the U.K to
escort her back. After ensuring she was well settled at home, I went down to Kaduna.
I noticed coolness on the part
of Nawwarah when I arrived home. Unlike before, she didn't seem too happy to
see me, but I put it down to her vexation over my frequent traveling.
When Halima was fully
recovered, the children and I planned a Walimat to thank Allah at the house for
her recovery. I expected Nawwarah to be with me at the ceremony, but to my
shock, she refused to travel down to Kano for the event.
"Your wife hates me and
has never accepted me. So, why should I go and rejoice with her on her
recovery? I'm not going as I don't want any embarrassment," she stated
vehemently. I tried to reason with her, but to no avail.
So, I attended theWalimat
alone. All went well and I stayed back with the family for about two weeks.
Little did I know what was
waiting for me on my return to Kaduna!
I did not meet Nawwarah at
home and when I asked the maid where she had gone to, the girl informed me that
she had left home a few days earlier with Balbasatu.
"Alhaji, I thought she
had gone to join you in Kano as she went with a lot of bags and
suitcases," she said. I went to our bedroom and noticed that most of
her clothes were missing. The same with my daughter's things when I checked her
room.
"Where could she have
gone to," I wondered as I called her parents to check if she had gone home
to them. They told me they had not seen her and thought she was in Kano
with me.
Later, I saw a note she had
written under my pillow in the bedroom. She stated that it seemed I no longer
loved her, that I had abandoned her for my first wife, Halima.
"I've met someone who
loves me very much and wants to be with me. I've left the country with him and Balbasatu
so don't bother looking for me..."
I almost had a heart attack on
reading the note.
How Nawwarah could do this to
me, I kept thinking. After all I had done for her? I gave up so much for us to
be together and this was the way she could pay me back? It was painful enough
her running away with another man; but why did she have to take my daughter
away as well?
As I write this, I've not
fully recovered from Nawwarah's betrayal and treacherous behavior. This was a
woman I loved so much and was ready to do anything for and she ended up
breaking my heart. What she has done to me is truly beyond pardon.
My experience shows you can't
trust anybody, especially women as you can never know what they are planning
behind your back. I just hope I can get my daughter back as I don't want her to
be brought up by another man. So, Nawwarah, if you are reading this, please
bring Balbasatu back. You can go if you want to but leave my child for me...
Thank you very much for reading my
stories and patronizing Inside Arewa, a big thank you from my heart.
Aliyu Muhammed Auwal (Skillz)
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