I met Mahmud when I was a student at the University of Abuja. He was handsome, charming and most of all he was funny. We met when he was newly divorced and I marveled at how someone going through such an experience managed to keep his humor. We became fast friends and I discovered he was from a very wealthy and influential Kano family and that he had a daughter who was 13 years old. He was 42 at the time but you would hardly know it by looking at his face. He didn’t look a day older than 30.
Despite my initial reservations I found myself falling in love with him. He would visit me from Lagos about twice a month. He said he managed one of his Family’s factories in Lagos. I found myself missing him a lot. He was such a generous soul,on my birthday he flew to Abuja to surprise me with a brand new car! I was so excited. Because for us in Gwags, a car was the ultimate statement that you were somebody. No more trekking in the hot gwagwalada sun,no more hustling for rides into town. And of course no more chewing gum boyfriends because no yeye boy will approach me in my BMW 3 Series.
I had now joined the league of bigger girls as my friend Hadiza would say. After the excitement of the car had died down, I began to ask myself some questions. Like shouldn’t this man be talking marriage already? We had been together for a year already and he had not mentioned it, wasn’t a year enough time to know if I was the one? And school would soon be on vacation, where would I take this car and hide? I couldn’t possibly go back home with it.
I discussed my dilemma with my friend Hadiza. She advised me to park the car at her house (she was married to Mahmud’s cousin). She promised to enquire from her husband if Mahmud would be a good husband. Meanwhile she advised me to bring up the issue of marriage and observe his reaction.
And 2 weeks later Hadiza called me to say that her husband wanted to see me. I asked why. She said her husband wanted to speak with me personally. At her hadiza’s house I was told that Mahmud was not exactly employed by the family. I was also told that his wife left him because he was lazy and refused to fend for his family. The wife was tired of depending on the family for their needs and she took her daughter and left. In fact Mahmud had no relationship with his daughter.
I heard him but I didn’t listen.
How can you tell me all these? Somebody that bought me a brand new BMW 3 series yet you say he was a lazy husband? It didn’t make sense to me. I decided to stay away from Hadiza and her husband. I figured they had feuds as was typical of all these wealthy families.
And when Mahmud spoke to me about getting married I wholeheartedly agreed to his proposal. If only I knew
Life with Mahmud was easy for the 3 weeks of our honeymoon. We went to Malta and then we went to Florida and we rounded up in Egypt. It was such a happy and blissful time.
When we returned, he stayed with me in Abuja. I waited for when he would go back to work in Lagos but that day never came. He stayed at home all day playing video games and smoking shisha. I didn’t understand how a 40 something year old spent his days like Mahmud did. I was fed up. I would spend the entire day in school and come home to meet him in the same position I met him. Playing Call of Duty KO wanka bai yi ba! What’s more he told me categorically that he did not want kids. He said we should wait till at least after 2 years after our wedding… I could now see that even if he wanted to be a father, he was not ready. After about a year I discovered that the mansion we were living in did not belong to Mahmud…
His elder brother owned it and he told us he wanted his house back. You can’t even imagine my anger and disappointment at Mahmud. So he wasted a whole year playing video games instead of getting money for us to be able to pay rent.
That’s how we packed out of that mansion Ina ji ina gani. Mahmud went and let a room in a 3 bedroom flat that his friends all shared. It was a bachelor’s house and we had to share a toilet with the other tenant because the master bedroom had been taken.
So there I was, hustling for bathroom with two grown men as a married woman! I started serving around this time in a bank. So I had to take my bath as early as 4am and hold myself till I prayed Fajr because I couldn’t go to the bathroom and pee again…
One day I was so pressed and the bathroom was occupied I ended up peeing in a Fanta bottle. From that day I bought a potty to ease myself kawai.
This is how we stayed in that house for 2 years until the guy threw all of us out because he was getting married.. We were back to square one!
With my small NYSC allawee I got us a hotel room and I sold the BMW. My husband was not bothered one bit. That’s how I would stay at work till like 8 and the sneak into the hotel. Da aure Na ana gani Na a hotel…
When I had enough I went to Mahmud’s uncle to beg for assistance. He listened to me and took pity on me. He gave us a one bedroom flat in Gwarimpa to manage. Meanwhile he gave my husband trucks of cement to sell. He also used his contacts to get me confirmed as a staff by the bank. I was indeed grateful to this man. I still pray for him to this day.
But because Mahmud was a useless man, he went and spent all the money he made on nonsense electronics and gadgets. Money we were supposed to use to get our own place. He even got a girlfriend. Namiji bai da tausayi.
Thank God for my job, if not I would have starved. Mahmud and I became more or less like roommates. I kept praying that he would change and become a responsible husband.
Meanwhile Mahmud was busy enjoying his life. Playing his game with electricity that I bought. Driving my car to pick up babes. He was even planning to leave me. He told me on several occasions:
‘The way things are going, I will just disappear ki huta”
‘Maryam you have trapped me, I need to live my life!’
After all the suffering, I woke up to a text message informing me of my divorce.
He didn’t even have the courtesy to do it in person. And he had the audacity to tell me he expected me to be out of the house by Maghrib Ji danbanza!
I called in sick at the office and proceeded to pack up his miserable belongings. I won’t be the fool anymore. I kept his things with the guard and called a carpenter to change the locks. Ni ma na iya iskanci ai. He was there at the gate doing drama for almost 2 hours before I heard silence.
Alhamdulillah I have now married again and I just had a beautiful baby girl. I can’t believe how wonderful marriage can be if it is with the right person wallahi. The most important lesson I have learnt is that girls must not be carried away by the glitter of life during courtship; my sisters shine your eye well well. You deserve only the best kind of man as your husband ,don’t be deceived. I hope you have learnt from my experience.
Add 08066680993 on whatsapp to subscribe for divorce diary.
Insidearewa doesnt own Divorce diary, but only has a permission to re broadcast from Jaruma Magazine
Special thanks to jaruma magazine editor in chief Fatima Zahrah.
Feel Free To Comments Here...
No comments:
Post a Comment