Please help this blog reader

A blog reader needs your advice please

I am as young as 20 years or age but my life is already a mess. It has already been destroyed by someone whom I thought I loved. Now I am doomed, I do not know what to do.

I met my 1st love 5 years ago at a coppers lodge in a school, I was just there to aconpany my elder sister who went there to see her man who happens to be serving there, I sat aside of them as I ddnt know anybody there, I was playing with my phone when I saw a shadow beside me, I quickly raised my eyes to his handsome face, wow! It was like nothing I have ever seen.

"Hello" he said to me in an amazingly soft and calm voice, "hi" I said a bit carried away, "can I sit?" He asked and I said yes. We gisted for a while before my sister called me to leave and he offered us a ride which we took because he happens to be my sister's man's friend. We gisted along the way and when we got home, we exchanged contracts and he left.

We dated for a year without any intimacy and I was happy with that until hassan took me out one evening, we were having a good time talking and laughing, and he asked me if I was a Virgin which I gladly said yes and he smiled. That day I had my 1st kiss, it was a fairytale moment as they call it in movies. I liked it because I loved him so dearly. From that day on hassan started playing with me which I let him because I was afraid of loosing him. On the 18th of November,  I lost my dignity to him # horrible day of my life# I kept playing along, dancing to his tune. Never knew I was playing with the devil.

All this while, hassan had never said anything to me about marriage and I didn't bring it up too. I later fell in love with my cousin after he confessed his feelings for me, I took time but I accepted and he immediately proposed to me which I took a very long time thinking about before I could respond. I consulted hassan on it and he said I should say yes to the guy which I got confused about. Anyways I accepted him n we started dating. Now I am so so in love with this guy and we are already planning for our families to meet but o am still seeing hassan#i really don't know why#

The problem now is that I don't know how to break my saddest news of my dignity to my guy because I know how he hates people like me. I really do not know what to do. Please tell me.
I am really scared of loosing him because I know hassan will not marry me. I am scared.
# PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME I BEG OF YOU.