Tuesday 31 May 2016

The Beautiful Side of Marriage episode 1


I guess we all are tired of reading divorce diary or problem with marriage, it's time we show the singles out there the beautiful side of marriage.
Here is our first story of the series it's the story of Hindatu and her husband Abdul with their 2 children. 
My name is Hindatu Yahya. I want to share my LOVE Diary with you. Yes my love diary because it’s a story of love, happiness and understanding.                            

I met my husband Abdullahi Hassan Imam while in the university.
Abdullahi was a final year student of Economics at the prestigious Unimaid and I was a public administration student....a jambito. Abdul helped with my registration been in the same faculty so everything was a smooth ride.
Ours was love at first sight. Because we felt for each other almost immediately. I could still remember how it all happened I was very tired of been pushed from the que and decided to stay aside until everyone was done because I know eventually I will do the registration. I was very hungry and tired.
Abdul came to pass by and saw me.
The first word he said to me was "Hey" And I couldn't ignore because his voice is an unusual voice soft, husky and manly. I looked up and our eyes met, we were lost for a while and then. He just handed me the bottled water he was holding and said "Here pretty" I couldn't refuse because I was thirsty. And that was it.

We felt in love so much in love, within that short while we were known because we were always together, read together, and ate together. We even won the best couple award. We were so much in love. Abdul is a perfect gentleman unlike other campus guys he has never shown any interest in touching me.
He introduced me to all his friends on campus and they teased him anytime "ina yar babynka"(Abdul was 9yrs older than me) He enrolled me into night Arabic and qur'anic classes he also attended at the Umma mosque. He never allow me lack anything in fact. His mother liked me so much, she called and even sent me gifts. When I lost my mum Abdul came to our house the first time to pay his condolence and that's how my family knew about him and took to him immediately, it was always smooth with us we never had any nasty fight except once I had too many male friends and Abdul disapproved of that and I wouldn't listen I was a very popular girl on campus.
Abdul never argue he will simply talk to you politely but he has a bad temper and can bear grudge.

And that was what happened. He simply sat me down one day and said to me "Hindu I love you and can do anything to keep you" I nodded my head in affirmation. He held my hands the first time ever and said "You know am a very jealous lover and I can't stand seeing you with just any dick, tom n harry. simply put, I don't like your popularity or your association with them. I am a man I know what am talking about “he paused and continued "you are an extraordinary lady, you are expensive you are not supposed to act cheap, please maintain your dignity please" he concluded trying to maintain an eye contact with me. We sat down like that for a moment until the silent became unbearable.
I decided to break the silence been young(I was just 18yrs) and not thinking straight and the fact that I know Abdul loved me I just said "well if you don't want me with them you can just leave.  they are my friends and I cannot leave them because of you" I said on a final note and stood up to go. He sat up and stood facing me he held my shoulders trying to look into my eyes, but I avoided eye contact with him.

After taking a long sigh he simply said" is that what you want?" I was shocked because that's not what I expected I thought he would bani hakuri and then say sorry. So i kept quite and made to go but he was still holding my shoulders tight. I started struggling to get free from his hold and he let me go.
We avoided each other for a whole week but I could still remember how I was burning to see him or hear his voice, I cried and wished I didn't tell him that.

On the 7th day I had 7 o'clock lectures and the lecturer was very strict. I was about entering the lecture hall and Abdul appeared, I almost bumped into him, what a relief and I can see he too was affected. He didn't say anything but just handed me my breakfast, because he always bring me breakfast, since most of my lectures are 7oclock. without a word I collected he simply looked into my eyes and said “I missed baby na" I couldn't hold a smile because I always liked the way he called me "baby na". That was the end of our disagreement. And I indeed changed.                                
       We got married after my graduation and Abdul has gotten a job already with one of the new generation banks.          

Ours was a perfect union the way we feel for each other never change we had 2 adorable daughters. We understood each other so much, we trusted ourselves, we were always like newlyweds we were always missing each other when we are apart. We text and call like saurayi da budurwa we fight but make up immediately.
Do you know how that happened? Well the basis of all was communication we don't hold things up. We created that. Abdul is not a talking type, he is more of an introvert, but with time I changed him I taught him to open up to me and thank God I was able to change his habit of holding grudge.

The only thing I couldn't deal with was his temper, so I learned to control my own if his is up. I could remember on our first night unlike the usual tradition of spending it trying to prove honor and love, we spent on getting to know ourselves. We talked and talked about everything it was just like meeting for the first time. For that was the real thing, we talked about our likes, dislikes, what we want etc.
We have been married for 8yrs am not working and I don't mind Abdul takes care of me and make sure I lack nothing.                               

And then things started changing between us I got introduced and got addicted to social networks, and was always on them. At first Abdul didn't mind, because he is not always home so he understood and let me be. But then my devotion to the social media became alarming I abandoned my responsibilities and keep late nights chatting with friends on WhatsApp and Facebook messenger. Abdul was angry but giving me silent treatment.

One day I slept off and he took my phone to plug it  for me and then a message popped in and he opened it instinctively. Because I can testify Abdul doesn't snoop on me. It was from one of my former class mate Aminu. We were not talking about anything really Abdul knew him well. Abdul was very angry he woke me up he looked at me hard with the anger I have never seen on them. He just simply handed me the phone and all hell broke loose ta inda yake shiga ba ta nan yake fita ba.it was like this is a different man from my own Abdul I've never seen him this angry. He shook me too hard as if shaking back my senses and uttered loudly his voice louder than usual and echoed in the silent of the night "Tell me where I went wrong? Is it because of the freedom I gave you that you chose to override or take for granted? Or is it because I trusted, love and care about you beyond all odds? Or is it because am soft on you? or don't I know how to chat? I warned you stay away from the social media. don't ruin our beautiful life I beg you" I still didn't say anything for that was my own method when he is angry I keep quite. We both didn't sleep much that night and in the morning he didn't even answer my greetings, he just walked out to work without a word.
By 2pm he sent me a text that he will be travelling to Lagos for a seminar and will be back in 4 days. it was unusual because I usually parked his luggage while travelling, anyway I parked his luggage with some notes containing sweet messages with apologies too, but he never come to get them.

I was very worried he neither calls nor text in fact doesn’t pick or reply my texts and calls. Then I sat down and had a long talk with myself. I resolved to get off all social networks until he approves or understood my intentions because I do gain a lot from the social media. I wrote to him and apologized and reiterated my undying love, how his silent treatment is killing me softly and tearing my whole life with his absence, and the promise to leave social networks.
I couldn't believe he called me immediately and said he is on his way. Know why he did that? Because he believes in me I don't lie to him and always stand up to my words and vice versa. He came in by 4pm.
Everything was prepared for him his favorites to make up. And I was all dressed up beautifully and my girls too.

When I opened the door my heart skipped a beat like my first time of seeing him, because I missed him a lot. He smiled and said "can I come in "I blushed and said "sorry I was carried away" He swept me off my feet and say "I missed baby na"I smiled and we were lost, jolted back to reality by our little daughter Amrah in her small voice saying "Abie inace nice babynka ba Ummie ba ko "we exchanged knowing looks and smiled. Afnan our first daughter was busy snapping pictures. I looked at her hard and said "ban wayata uwar karambani kawai".

Abdul just looked at me with the deepest love I have ever seen in his eyes and laughed out and said pointing at us "Like mother like daughter" I just smiled and said "Ruwan wankanka zaiyi sanyi".  Thank you for reading my story..
Names have been changed to protect the identity of the narrator and other individuals in the story.
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Divorce Diaries Season 4 Episode 6 http://www.insidearewa.com/divorce-diaries-season-4-episode-6/s
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