The Diary of A Broken Heart Episode 4

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Diary of A Broken Heart Episode 4

Read the previous episodes HERE

Me and Ammi excused ourselves from them. Far far away from Aisha's prying eyes. Left to Aisha she could have come to hear what i would be discussing with Ammi. Is this how most Aisha's are with Gulma? They way she was hungrily looking at us as we walked away.  I almost bumped into Ammi as she suddenly turned to look at me. I was just in time to lean against the wall. I turned to look at her.

  My God. What kind of thing is this? One minute she was very cheerful and smiling very sweetly and now, the same Ammi was glaring at me with such piercing eyes. I unconsciously tried to shift back but thank God for the wall behind me. I would have looked like matsoraci. I recovered quickly and stared back at her. Trying to March her anger but she was too much for me. I continued to stare until she noticed I was not going to talk. She flushed and relaxed. Her hands refused to be released cause it was folded in a tight hug on her chest. As in to tell me. Just get it over with. She became a bit embarrassed. And I don't know what made me attack her. She was showing weakness, and I attacked. "Wai wannan fushin daga ina yake zuwa ne wai?" She started looking elsewhere. Tunda ga ranan nan shi kenan kika dinga sakani a zuciya kaman na Kashe miki yan uwa. Haba Ammi" it was the first time I had called her by her name in days.
  Da ta mun wani kallo.... I just told myself. You can't deal with this. "Menene kakeso ka gaya mun?" She demanded with those eyes burning again. "Wallahi i completely forgot all the words I had learned and crammed"! I thought I had memorized it perfectly well to not forget it so easily.  I looked away trying very hard to remember, she was really temperamental.  But I was wiser now. I attacked yet again. "A gaskiya ni ban gane miki ba. Yanzu shi kenan daga abunda mama ta fada sai kiyita fushi dani? Baki tsaya kinji labari ta wurina ba kawai saiki dauka na hada baki da mama ko"?

Her forehead creased in apparent confusion. She wanted to say something but I didn't let her. I was more confident now.  I was now the man she has given me that slight edge when she showed her confusion and the wink I imagined from her mum gave me extra energy. "Why didn't you first hear my side of the story before you jumped into conclusions"? I added forestalling yet another attempt she made to speak.  She became even more confused. I decided to play fair.  To wait for her to catch up. I started again as though explaining to a small kid and trying to reason with her and said "Ammi i want u to understand something, what my mum said that very day she gave those stuffs to u..... (took deep breaths) u can forget it. I can’t stand the way u treat me like I asked for it. I also want to assure u that I had no hand whatsoever in it. I didn't even know she was going to ambush you with it like that. I swear I never wanted it and i swear I never intended ever telling.........." thats how I tailed off without completing my memorization.

For she had used her hand (left) to smack my mouth shot and pointed her right index finger to my eyes with a mocking smile mixed with irritation and said fiercely " I dont care whether u had a hand in it or not. I cant talk about it now alright" she looked back at where we left her departing party. Am sure to check if the coast was clear.  She turned back to me and continued. " I dont want to hear what you've got to say ok?" Her voice broke as though she wanted to cry. She released me and said in a more calmer tone as she was pleading with me. "I dont care whether you planned this with your mum or not. I cant talk about it now nidai. She was blinking very fast as trying to fight back tears. We will talk on the phone for that's  more confortable with me" she took few steps back and locked her eyes wit mine.

  I turned instinctively to check if nobody saw what happened. And thankfully nobody did or so it seemed to me. I was dazed by her boldness and daring. what I dont think I could do to her no matter what. I didn't see the trace of suprise in her face for what she just did. She had just gently smacked and almost pushed who she used to call her uncle to the wall and threatened me. She waited for me to speak but words failed me. she then said "Unless there is something I want to say, she is going back to the Bus" I was speechless and just shrugged and shook my head in surprise but she took that as me confirming I have nothing to say. She left me standing helplessly. I had to rush back so the others dont say am a coward I couldn’t face them. so Aisha won't guess that out little chat didn't go so well. 

I forced a smile back at Ammis mum when I got back. Ammi headed straight into the bus without looking at anybody. A very big loooong bus with BORNO EXPRESS scribbled boldly on all sides. I sat down on the bench next to Ammi's little sister trying to arrange my face so it won't give me away. I tried seriously to keep a vacant expression but without success. I noticed Ammi's mum was giving me a searching look. I started staring at the floor as though I had picked a very honest interest at the ants on the ground. I was looking but I wasn't seeing. But she was still staring at me. "Haba ya Isa mana I thought" . "Chi chi lafiya kuwa?"..........."Menene anty?" I replied looking up. "Lafiya" i added "me kika gani anty?” She gave me a very close and intense searching look as though she was looking for something she had kept in my eyes.  Do all mothers do that? Can they always tell when their kids are telling lies? "Babu" she said smiling even more broadly. She reminded me of Ammi a little. Same smile same genes. Like mother like daughter. The only difference was their mood swings…

My thoughts crossed over to an instant when my mum asked me a long time ago "Sani yaya naga lepenka duk yayi baki. Ka gayamin gaskiya kana shan taba ko? I was stunned. And i answered far too quickly and forcefully in the negative. She gave me the same searching look Ammi's mum just gave me. And then she was satisfied. I bet she saw the truth in my eyes somehow. For she never asked me about it again....  We said the normal farewell greetings. "Allah ya kiyaye hanya. ALLAH Ya sa mu gana. Amin." And they departed soon after. I kept quite all the way home. "Kaba bani kunya Sani" Aisha kept saying so. I didn't care.  I wasn't even listening. I didnt even know how I drove home cause I was too preoccupied with thought about what i've just experienced.  A new way of life i never anticipated had drawn up with me. i was often quite, waiting and Waitin for the call from Ammi that never came her mum called though that they've arrived safely. I never heard anything from Maiduguri besides that. But then I planned to call the next day if i didn’t hear from her in the morning....

To be continue insha Allah on Wednesday 6th July

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Special thanks to Muhammad Sani