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Even after forty days I couldn't come to terms with the fact that Mansur is dead I always imagine seen him beside me on the bed sometimes. I dreamed of him every night just couldn't deal with the blow. But gradually been talked to by Umma and Hajiya helped alots, (since his father had died a year after our wedding). Hajiya was then staying with us but after the 40 days she left and everything became afresh I didn't sleep at all that night. I keep viaualizing our union. I woke up around 2am and prayed for him and for my daughter and myself too for the best. I stay in doors to observed my 3 months 10 days of mourning in my matrimonial home, with my daughter and my junior sister Mufeeda.
I was just home even after my mourning period, I just didn't have any plan for the future. Since I was not working am mostly in doors I only visited Umma and Abba and Hajiya. sometimes I spent the night at their places.
A year passed Umma was on my nerves to get something doing or remarry. "Remarry Umma " I said shockingly. So when she insisted I agreed to seek for a job. I studied economics so with Abba's influence I secured a job with ministry of finance, and that really helped to keep busy and away from thinking. After another year I decided on my own to go for Masters so I bought the form and pay the necessary fees, we were scheduled to start lectures in a months time at ABU Zaria. By then Hamida was 5 yrs stays with Hajiya and already enrolled into nursery school, so I moved in with Umma and Abba. That seems to take my mind off lots of things.
Umma again was on my nerves that I should be dressing presentably, that the mourning period is now over and i should forge ahead, since am young i should think of another life ahead. she even go to extend of forcing me to be applying make up Umma wouldn't let me be until I became my normal self. And then suitors started pouring in. I couldn't cope with it because even when I was budurwa I didn't have them.
One faithful night,Umma met me and said she will like to have a words with me, I said okay am all ears "Shamsu came to see me that day when you went for weekend to Hajiya's house. I just kept mute because I understood Umma perfectly. "Bakiji abunda nace bane?" She asked "eh naji Umma ba damuwa I know he is been coming ai na sani" I said and concentrated on my books. Umma wouldn't let me be "so why not give him a chance I know you love him and he too" Umma said looking at me deeply. I was silent for a while, but I know if I didn't say anything Umma won't let me be. So i just look at her and said "Umma i dont think he will won't any thing to do with me, I was married had a child, do you think he will still have feelings for me?". Umma just smiled and said " what has that got to do with love?" Umma just rose 🌹 up to go, but before she leaves she simply say seriously "please don't turn him down because of that silly excuse". Umma left but I couldn't concentrate on the books I was reading.
The last time I saw him was when he brought his mum to pay me a condolence. I could still remembered how she held me and wiping my tears saying "ba kuka zaki yi ba Aneesah addua yake buqata yanzu. And he was there watching us, they left, but he came back to get their car keys he forgot on the chair he sat. I was still wiping tears He stood by me and said " stop shedding those tears he doesn't deserve them, pray Aneesah " with that he left. Then everything resurface but am now matured I don't allow things to weigh me down.
I had lectures one faithful Saturday morning and its a visiting lecturer from Bayero. Had a lot about him that he is a displinarian. Dr Ribadu. so I quickly get ready and headed out with my car because am used to driving myself from Kaduna to Zaria. I was on time. So I found a comfortable sit in the front row, that's my most comfortable sit. I was busy with my phone browsing my assignment when he came in. I looked up when he introduced himself to be sure I heard right and not hallucinating as usual. Behold it was Shamsu.
Dr Ribadu yes Shamsuddeen Ibrahim Ribadu.(SIR) how did I forget that?
When I looked up he was watching me and our eyes met. He smiled that beautiful smile I love back then. I couldn't smiled back. He simply said "could you please switched off or put the phone on silence madam" it sounds awkward "madam" I repeated in my mind, then a smile escape my lips. I did as he said I felt relaxed like I have not in a long time. Been in the atmosphere with him is something I wouldn't trade for. I was very attentive during his class. After the lectures I was about starting my car engine when he came over. I stopped the engine and came out. He simply asked "Are you going home straight?" I looked sideways and said "That's good please get something for me I will be right behind you and drive safe" He said looking at me fully on the face."okay" because that's seems to be the only word that came to my lips.
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To be continued Insha Allah on Saturday 20th August
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