Divorce Diary Season 3 Episode IV July 30th 2016

MY NAME IS SHARIF ABDALLAH. I AM 37 YEARS OLD. I AM FROM KATSINA STATE. I WAS MARRIED TO KARIMA MUSTAFA .I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE MY STORY WITH YOU.
I met Karima when she came to serve in my office. She looked really cute in her NYSC Khaki and I couldn’t resist talking to her. She was beautiful with smooth dark skin and a smile to melt even Hitler’s heart, I was in love. I was falling and falling very hard.  Who says NYSC is useless?
Before long, I was obsessed with her. I was always calling her. It became my habit to give her a lift home from work, every day after work. I utilised the opportunity to get to know her better.  I was fascinated by her, I was fascinated by every single thing she did. I just couldn’t live without her. She was loving, beautiful and kind. A combination of beauty and brains and a heart of gold. I don’t know any man worth his salt that can resist such a lady.  So I went in for Karima hard. Karima was from a family of academics and she was the only daughter.  Understandably Karima was the apple of her father’s eye. And she was a spoilt daddy’s girl.

Early on, I realised this and I knew it was only a matter of time before she would introduce the marriage topic. She was a good girl and so I knew she wasn’t fling material. About 6 months after we met, she told me she wanted to know what we were doing. I told her I would think about the answer. She looked disappointed.
‘What do you mean you are going to think about it? It’s been six months and you still want to think about it? Look, I am not getting any younger, my parents expect me to settle down by the end of my service year. ‘
‘Haba beauty (I called her that) please calm down. Did I say I will not marry you? How can I ever say that? Let me sort some things out. I promise I will be your mister”
‘Well in that case you have to come and meet daddy. He has been asking questions about you, about us”
‘Shikenan and gama, even if it is Obasanjo you want me to see I will see him”
I went to see her father and it was the longest 30 minutes of my life. He asked so many questions, the only thing he didn’t ask about was my genotype. And yes he asked about my HIV status. It was not easy at all I tell you. Her father asked me to send my uncles in 2 weeks’ time if indeed I was serious about his daughter. Two weeks? I had no idea how I was going to do that but I had to oblige his request.
I was able to mobilize my father and 2 of his brothers to go to see Karima’s dad. Thankfully everything went well and I was granted Karima’s hand in marriage. My parents were over the moon, having given up that I would ever get married. Everything was fine and 6 months later and almost exactly a year after we met, Karima and I became husband and wife. It was the happiest time of my life.
Karima was the perfect wife. Too perfect in fact. There was only one problem. She was deeply suspicious of my activities. She didn’t seem to trust me. All the time we were dating, she was serving in my office and had heard tales of my heydays as a player and heartbreaker. Time and time again I assured her that those days were behind me but it didn’t seem to make any difference to her. After a year of being married I was tired of explaining myself to my wife. I was tired of assuring her of my love and commitment. In fact I just reached a point where i felt I might as well go back to my old ways then I would know I was explaining for a reason.
After 2 years, we welcomed our son and everything changed,Karima had no time or attention for me. Everything became about the baby this and the baby that. She hardly acknowledged my presence in her life anymore. I would come home and there would be no hugs or welcome. There would be no dinner. There would be no ‘how was your day. ‘Nothing. Just: ‘please be quiet I just got the baby to sleep’
I became useful only for cash, errands and diapers and baby milk. She was so engrossed in being a mother she forgot she was a wife. We argued about this constantly and she always called me a selfish man. I was angry, neglected and lonely so I decided to take matters into my own hands.
I started flirting with the new corper at my office, Tina. Tina was from Owerri in Imo State. I called her Ada Owerri. She was tall and beautiful and most of all she relished and craved my attention. I cannot exactly say how I became so attached to Tina but within a short time I rented her an apartment close to my house and I was spending a lot of time with her after office hours.
As the affair with Tina consumed me, I kept hoping Karima would notice. I kept hoping she would suspect something and at least say something to me. I wanted her to notice. I wanted her to know that even though she had discarded me I was still desirable to others. But sadly she did not. She was obsessed with being a mother.  As the affair continued so did the gap between my wife and I continue to widen. Pretty soon there was a wide gulf between us.
After Tina passed out from NYSC I kept her in Abuja and got her retained in my organisation. She became my comfort. I did not want her to be far from me. At this point Karima and I hardly had any conversations that did not involve arguing. I was tired. I was fed up. But there was nothing I could do. I figured the older our son became the less time she had to spend on him. I hoped I would get her back as he got older because deep down I missed her.
I continued to see Tina. She was my wife really at this point. She would listen to me and console me. She would cook for me and make me feel special. I thought I was happy until she decided she didn’t want to be a mistress anymore. She wanted to be a wife. I really couldn’t blame her. 5 years was quite a while to be in a relationship with a married man. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t marry 2 wives. And I couldn’t bring myself to break Karima’s heart. I tried to manage it the best way I could but it escalated quickly. Somehow she got hold of Karima’s phone number and started sending her text messages. She was texting her about our escapades over the years, claiming to even be pregnant for me. This went on for about 2 months before Karima told me.
I was sad and happy at the same time. I was sad that she had found out but I was happy because for the first time in years she did something for me. That day I came home to meet a 3 course dinner waiting for me and my wife smiling and hugging me. I should have known something was wrong because it was unusual. I couldn’t even remember the last time I touched my wife or hugged her. Stupidly I thought she had come back to her senses.
We talked and enjoyed our meal. I was looking forward to other matters when I started receiving text messages from Karima’s phone. She forwarded Tina’s messages to me. I looked across the dining table and her calmness sent chills down my spine. It was as if someone had poured ice cold water on me.
“ai I didn’t know I had a kishiya. So we are two and you never bothered to let me get to know my cowife? That’s bad of you”
I was too stunned to say anything
‘Mr. Lover lover, are you now deaf and dumb? ‘
‘I am sorry Karima I can explain’
She stood up calmly and started walking towards me.
‘Explain? I don’t need an explanation. I already know all I need to know’
‘Listen I was lonely, she took advantage of your absence and she seduced me wallahi. It’s not as she is making it look! She is not my type at all. What am I even doing with an Ibo girl? Karima Beauty please you have to believe me’
‘She is not your type abi? Suddenly you are a tribalist ko? My absence? You selfish bastard I had your baby, our baby. A baby needs 24/7 care. You selfish bastard, were you not the one that forbade me from hiring any help? I do everything in this house. Will I divide myself?’
‘Please please I am sorry it was the devil. Please I beg you’
‘I am leaving you. I cannot stay married to an adulterer. The curse of God is on you! Bastard”
This is still painfully fresh in my mind. I begged and begged her to stay but she wouldn’t hear. I knew that once her father heard about my indiscretions I was finished. My marriage was ruined. And I hurt the love of my life in the process. It took me a while to convince Karima allow me visit my son from time to time. I hate the fact that he is growing up without me.
As for Tina, she thought I would marry her after Karima left. Stupid girl. I stopped taking her calls and I cut her off completely. When she started harassing me at work, I quickly resigned and I am still searching for a job. I have gone back to God to ask for his forgiveness for my indiscipline and selfishness. I hope one day that Karima will forgive me. I really pray that we reconcile.
Thank you for reading my story. I hope you have learnt from it.






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