Divorce Diary Season 3 Episode 2

MY NAME IS AISHA MUNTARI. I AM 28 YEARS OLD. I WAS MARRIED TO YAKUB MUZZAMIL  FOR 2 LONG YEARS. I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE MY STORY WITH YOU.

I met Yakub while I was at the University of Abuja in Gwagwalada. I was studying English then after I was  kicked out of the law degree programme. I wasn’t a serious student and I was more interested in partying and having a good time than in being a lawyer to be perfectly honest  with you and I don’t know why I became like that. I came from a good respectable family and my parents were good people who raised me right. In secondary school I graduated top of my class. But university was a different ball game. So many men wanted me. Every corner I turned there was a man determined to get to me.
All the male attention got to me I guess. Yakub was one of my numerous admirers and he was very determined to get me. In my first year he followed me everywhere,he was in my classes, hanging around lunch spots, hanging around hostel. He became like my shadow. The classic definition of chewing gum boyfriend.He was a nice guy, rich kid with too much money on campus. He was also a sort of  star student because there were rumors all over the school that he bought his grades with favors and money. He was handsome and popular. It seemed I got myself a big fish.Until I met Halima.

Halima was like me, she had been kicked out of law department after only a semester. She became my best friend and we did everything together and Halima changed my life. She introduced me to a life that was very different from what I knew. She introduced me to big men in Abuja. And they spoilt us with money and gifts, handbags and clothes and I was in hot demand because I was young and beautiful. I was 17 years old and I was a beautiful Fulani girl, I felt invincible.
With all the activity Halima introduced me to; I barely had time for Yakub, even though he still stuck to me like glue. There is nothing that a woman can do to send a man away that I didn’t do but Yakub wouldn’t budge. Sometimes he would follow me to town and wait for me to finish with my sugar daddies and he wouldn’t be angry. All he said was that I was his property and that all the other guys were just visiting. He wanted us to get married. Naturally marriage was the last thing on my mind but he refused to give up. He was obsessed with me.
One day Halima and I went to see our madam, anti binta. Anti binta was a woman way past her prime in the game but she had enough contacts to make girls like us rich and able to have a good time. She was in her forties, unmarried and had badly bleached skin. She connected Halima and me to the big boys in town and we gave her a percentage depending on how much the guy paid. That fateful day, Anti B sent us to Protea Hotel in Asokoro to meet an oil and gas big boy and add color to his birthday celebration. She gave us a bottle of local perfume (humra) to use and she told us that this perfume would make him extra generous to us and it could even make him fall in love with either of us. As usual on our way, Yakub was driving behind us. I just thought to myself “what a fool!”
At the hotel, sure enough Anti B’s perfume worked. Shehu was his name and he owned the second largest oil marketing business in Nigeria. He couldn’t take his eyes off me. He held on to me all through the party. When it was time for us to leave, he dashed me 10 thousand dollars secretly and gave me his number. He even escorted us back to Anti B’s house to thank her. He told her he wanted me to be reserved only for him. She agreed o and I saw crisp dollars exchanging hands.
‘Yarinya mai sa’a” that was my new name. Anti B called me the lucky one. I couldn’t believe my luck at all. Wow so now I didn’t have to be sharing my money with Anti B and Halima! And Thank God he was based in Lagos no one would see me with him and report to my parents.
That’s how my relationship with Shehu blossomed,he became my everything. Because of him I even became serious with my studies. He wanted me to be a smart educated and sophisticated woman. He told me we were a power couple. He wanted me to be a proper lady,no more parties or tricks. I was solely for him and him only and honestly it wasn’t a bad deal. He took care of me, spent a fortune on me, and took me round the world. There was only one problem; Yakub still wouldn’t leave me alone,he was always around the corner. What kind of useless man was he? Ba zuciya.
My other problem was that my parents back home had started hearing news of my new lifestyle and I had no idea what would happen. I usually lied to them that I didn’t get any holidays because I stayed back in school to read my books or to complete assignments. Ever since I went to university I had only been home like 4 times. But now my parents insisted on coming to see me. I couldn’t risk it. If they ever found out how I was living I would be ruined. I had to quickly rush home to reassure them I was still their innocent high achieving daughter.
So I went home and saw that my parents were fed lies about me. Yes lies because I didn’t even do half the things my parents heard. Trust me; I manipulated my way through the storm. After all the rantse –rantse and speeches, my father decided he wanted me to get married. He wanted me to present a suitor. I begged and begged but his mind was made up,my mother was dumbfounded with my attitude towards dad’s decision. I was not happy at all,I knew in my heart of hearts that Shehu would never marry me. Men like him married innocent girls with rich parents not hustlers like me. I also knew that I couldn’t get a man to marry me because of my lifestyle, since I was quite popular as a runs girl in Abuja. Any man I found would do his investigation on me and find out the truth. I began to think seriously about my life. Is this the way I wanted to repay my parents for all their hard work and sacrifice??
Back in school I told Halima about my dilemma. She advised me to marry Yakub. He was in love with me and he was also rich. She pointed out to me that I could marry Yakub and still be seeing Shehu. In fact Shehu didn’t even have to know about the marriage since he was far away in Lagos. It made sense. The boy would drink my bathwater if I asked him to. I agreed to do as Halima advised but I did tell Shehu that I would get married. He didn’t seem to mind. In fact he told me that if there was any assistance he could offer I shouldn’t hesitate to inform him.
Just as Halima had predicted Yakub was happy and overjoyed when I told him I wanted us to get married. He didn’t suspect a thing. It only meant that now I had to put up with him more and see Shehu less. His parents quickly sent a delegation to ask for my hand in marriage and at this point I felt like I had the best of both worlds. I would have a devoted husband in Yakub and a never ending cash and gifts machine in Shehu.
We had a society wedding,for my wedding Shehu bought me a nice Mercedes. I lied to my parents and friends that Yakub gave it to me as a wedding gift and I told Yakub and his family that my father gave me the car as a wedding gift. After my marriage, Yakub went to serve the nation and he was posted to Warri in Delta State while I returned to school. I advised him not to redeploy in the spirit of patriotism. The truth is that I was happy he would be away and I would have time to go to Lagos to spend some time with Shehu. Unsuspecting Yakub took my advice and went off to Warri. After some days I flew to Lagos and spent a week with Shehu. Everyone thought I had gone back to school. I was on top of the world. I collected my standard 10 thousand dollars and went back to Abuja. And for a whole year this was how I continued living. I would fly to and fro between Lagos and Abuja. Wearing a niqab so no one would recognise me. And I never switched off my phones so Yakub could reach me. He never suspected a thing. As this pattern continued I began to prefer Shehu to my husband. I told Halima and she advised me to just end my marriage and move to Lagos, after all Shehu was the real husband anyway. He was the big man with the big money. I started plotting and planning how to leave Yakub until….
Shehu left Lagos and called me to say he was in Abuja and that the EFCC was after him. There had been a new CBN governor that year and he had published names of chronic debtors to Nigerian Banks and Shehu’s name and his company appeared repeatedly on the list. He was a wanted man. He changed his phone number and was looking to escape to Niger to hide; he wanted me to meet with him for a final time. I was shattered. How would I be getting 10 thousand dollars again? I cursed the stupid CBN governor. My husband noticed my mood and inquired as to what was wrong. I told him it was Halima that upset me. The stupid Yakub again, he tried consoling me but to no avail. He was just annoying me further.
So around 7pm I told Yakub I wanted to go and see Halima to sort things out and he offered to drive me there. We argued and I stormed out of the house.  I just wanted to go and see Shehu; I didn’t need this silly man disturbing my life. I really needed to leave Yakub he was just a pain in my neck wallahi. I drove as fast as I could to the address where Shehu was hiding. I went in to see him and he gave me 250 thousand dollars in cash to keep for him. While we were discussing, we heard shouts and commotion outside. Ashe the EFCC had raided the house and they were trying to break the door to the house. I was in hot soup. I ran into the bathroom to hide but it was futile. Shehu and I were arrested. As I was being handcuffed I saw Yakub walk in.Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun
Unknown to me, Yakub had followed me from the house. I was just staring, shaking and sweating and I didn’t know what to say to him. An overwhelming sense of guilt and shame overcame my entire body. I was so ashamed,what had I done to myself? Na shiga uku Na lalace. The EFCC officials dragged me away with my husband looking on in shock and disgust.
I was questioned for about 3 days before I was let go. I had not eaten or slept or taken a bath in 3 days knew I couldn’t go home so I went to Halima’s house. She received me with a cold demeanour and I understood why. She didn’t want anything to do with me since I was now a criminal.
‘Please don’t think we can be friends like before wish I can be there for you but gaskiya I can’t. Your face was all over NTA and AIT news. I don’t want your problem. I am looking for husband and I won’t allow you ruin my marriage plans kin gane ko?”Haba Halima, it’s me. We are more than friends, we are sisters. I did not have any idea that Shehu was in that kind of trouble. Wallahi ban Sani ba”
“Oh it’s now you know that we are sisters, when you were busy collecting dollars I was a stranger abi? Ke please leave this place. Or I will throw you out. Tsinnanniya mara hankali. Dama an ce kwaday mabudin wahala. Please get out”
Before I could even reply I was bungled out,as tears soaked my face. I had no money. I knew that I had no husband by now and that my parents would be mad at me for the disgrace I brought upon them.
But I had nowhere else to go so I went home to my husband. And to my shock and surprise he welcomed me with a hug and refused to say anything. I had been gone for 3 days and this man did not say a word about it. He gave me food and I ate. I thought to myself that this man loves me too much to even be angry at me. Still he didn’t say anything to me, so I asked him to forgive me for everything. That’s when his true feelings came out.
First he started laughing then he started yelling. The he removed his belt and beat me,he beat me and beat me. It was like a thousand men were beating me all at once. Thank God for our guard who came to save me. At this point I went back to Kaduna to my parents. I went home to meet my divorce letter, which had been written 3 days earlier Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun. My parents were heartbroken and disappointed beyond my imagination.
Life has a funny way of teaching you lessons. These years that I have been at home I have realise that I was just a cheap glorified prostitute, I could have done better for myself. I had a bright future and I destroyed it  with my own hands. But no matter how hard life gets you just have to fight. You can’t give up, as long as you are still alive. I went back to school and graduated though with a third class. I am now working with a private school in Abuja. I rented a small apartment in Kubwa and I am making it small small. I still have bad nights where I recall the events that happened to me. I still struggle to forgive myself. Especially because of the hurt I caused the ones that loved me.
Hear me, it’s never too late for you to pick yourself up and do right by yourself. You can always repent and start life anew. You can always decide whether to do right or wrong. You have a choice. You will always have a choice.
Thank you for reading my story. I hope you will learn from it.


 All thanks to Jaruma Magazine Editor Fatima Zahra for sharing with us.
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