Exclusive Interview: I got a husband because I choose not to ignore his DM

The story of Musaddik and his wife Ziyada…

It all started from a single DM but here we are now

Where's the best place to find a life partner? Turns out, there are no rules. In the age of online dating, stories of how couples meet can be as varied as Snapchat filters.

Time was, if you met your mate online, you developed a cover story: If anyone asked, you'd say you met in a friend wedding, Market or at school. Not anymore. Whether it's the fact that many of us already conduct so much of our personal and business lives online, or the proliferation of online dating sites touting their successful matches, it's perfectly acceptable to say, with pride, that you met the love of your life with your fingers on a keyboard, not wrapped around the other way round. Here, these beautiful couples found theirs online, and went from Direct Message (DM) to walking down the aisle:

Take my opinion for what it's worth as a traditionally married stick in the mud, but I have a soft spot in my heart for online dating. I've said it once, and I'll say it again: If I was living in an alternate single person universe, I'd set up a profile in a heartbeat.

We send email instead of snail mail. We drive cars instead of horse-drawn carriages. It only makes sense that we could successfully find love on the internet instead of scouting out random ladies on the street.

Maybe it's the potential "danger" of the internet that holds people back (the same danger that applies to bringing home a sketchy dude you just met at a club, wedding or any social place I might add later), but many people are reluctant to date online.

Fair warning for those who fall into this pool of skeptics: This absolutely adorable and absolutely true online dating success stories will probably change your mind.

Below are some questions from Inside Arewa and our new couples in town Mr Musaddiq Wada Waziri and his wife name is Ziya'atulhaqq Usman Tahir:

InsideArewa: What is it like meeting someone on social media? Is there any different with meeting someone in places like school, Mall, Cinema, wedding, street or eatery places and what really motivated you to keep going up till marriage?

Couples: It’s a normal thing nowadays. No the anxiety of meeting someone new is all the same. Yeah there are differences and lots of uncertainties because you don't know what you're going into.

InsideArewa: What attracts you to her or what is that one thing that you have in common?

Her work (FatIboLady page) now @AuntyZiya and talent attracted me. (@AuntyZiya is an Instagram page that was found from the blessed intellect ofZiya’atulhaq Usman which she  reaches out to her audience/clients through online consultation on issues pertaining relationship and marriage affairs, through this exquisite page she helps hundreds relationship that are in the verge of separation, the page serve for some years as a salvation to many of  its clients traumatized by social relationships, turning hundreds of families from miseries to victories, many have forever been grateful with this great inclination of fatIbolady page, the page has gain a remarkable and delicate recognition both nationally and internationally)   

InsideArewa: Who first made the move and did it start as friends then lovers or just love?

Musaddiq: I did (laughs). I have a friend Abdullahi Buhari they knew each other. I told him that I am crushing on her and asked him whether he will tell her to follow me back. She followed me back we exchanged phone numbers and the rest is history...

InsideArewa: Was it a distance relationship? sometimes social media doesn't do justice when you finally meet that person you have been wanting to see in person, what was the reactions and feelings when you first meet in person, was it love at first sight?

She lives in Bauchi and I live in Kano. Well, Alhamdulillah we have already started the “I love you” thing before meeting. After I went to see her in Bauchi, it turns out she’s more beautiful than I was expecting. Her family welcomed me warmly, met her uncle in the afternoon and dad in evening. And she served me delicious jollof rice...lol that she cooked specifically for me because she knew I love it. Don’t laugh at me now, can you imagine I left my cap at her house and up till today she is still insisting its because of her delicious Jollof that I forget my cap.   

InsideArewa: What was your challenge during the process of courtship and how did you dealt with the differences?

There wasn't any serious challenge honestly.

InsideArewa: What makes your relationship successful?

Couples: Honesty! I always believe that ‘Honesty is more important than trust.’

The common belief is “without trust you can’t have a relationship” once the trust is broken it’s over.  There is complete truth to that statement, but trust isn’t the most important thing.
I was sitting down at lunch with a few of my friends during break and we started talking about relationships.  “People say trust is more important, but it’s honesty, you have to be honest with your partner and honest with yourself”, one said and another one nodded his head, agreed and added “that’s true, if trust is all it’s based on when it’s broken everything is broken”.  In my head, I added if there’s no room for forgiveness, there’s no room for real love.  It was then I finally understood what my friend meant when he said honesty is more important than trust.

1)      Without honesty the trust isn’t genuine:
Trust is very essential in a relationship, it’s one of the core ingredients that keeps a relationship, but if there’s no honesty the trust can’t be genuine.  Without honesty you can have blind trust.  You trust someone based on what you know, but what you know can be false.  Many people are in relationships where they trust each other, but one of them isn’t “keeping it real”, so they have their partner believing a bunch of lies and trusting in nothing but lies.

2)       Without honesty between you two it will also hinder growth: 

Lack of honesty affects not only trust, but communication. It can cause the relationship to be unhealthy.  Ever been in a relationship where you meet someone, they ask you what you are looking for you ask them what they are looking for; you discuss the likes and dislikes and compare the similarities and difference etc.  Together you start building a beautiful relationship, you both seem perfect for each other, something happens, true colors start to come out who they said they were become questionable.   As the relationship heads down hill everything they said they weren’t they become.  Well that’s the effect of dishonesty.  Most people find out what their person of interest is looking for; they try to become that person.  They share with each other what they think will satisfy each other putting aside the real them and say and do what’s necessary to be Mr. or Mrs. Right until they can’t play the role anymore.
Being honest with each other helps avoid a lot of issues.  Honesty will open the door to meet, greet and learn about the real person you’re with.  It also prepares you for the tough time, so when their true colors come out you had a glimpse of the portrait already.  You can trust each other all you want, but if both of you don’t know the real version of the other that trust is useless

InsideArewa: is there any special memory before and after you meet her?

Couples: I don’t have any special memory I can point because anything pertaining my wife is special. She's so angelic Alhamdulillah for her.

InsideArewa: What was your parent's reaction when they asked where you meet and say twitter?

Couples: They requested for time to do the "bincike" during the process they realized we have mutual family friends and that made it all easy for them to do the baground check. And Alhamdulillah we are here now.

InsideArewa: For how long have you been together and was the relationship more of social media or do you often meet?

Couples: We met on 13th October 2015 and got married on the 16th of April 2016. I went to Bauchi ‘only three times’ during our courtship. So you can say we only meet in person three times and the forth times I met her as my wife not girlfriend, but we are always on phone. There was even a day that my boss threatened me with a sack for too much phone calls in the office. I believe this is the power of been honest, open minded and trusting your partner.

InsideArewa: What attract you to her and even made you send her a “DM”, is it her tweets, personality or looks? Is she still on social media now after you marry her?

Couples: Yeah she's still but with few amendments in terms of dealing with the audience.  And I am fully supporting her work.

Finally I have a message to anyone that will read this interview but ill make it simple, just be sincere in what you do, know what you want and go for it and things will work out as it should. Let God be your guide to greatness. Ladies please reply that DM someone serious is there keep trying, never give up things happen down there. I am a living example.

Thank you for given us your time and we wish you and your wife a blissful marriage life and lots of baraka.

Ameen Ya Rabb! Thank you so much.

 The End! Aliyu Muhammed Auwal (Skillz)

Inside Arewa's Blog: My Neighbor Chapter 4   Wednesday, 23rd November, 2016 http://insidearewa.blogspot.com/2016/11/my-neighbor-chapter-4-wednesday-23rd.html?spref=tw
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