My name is Barrister Aliyu Ahmed and I would like to share my #DivorceDiaries with you.
I’m a lawyer from Jigawa State. I am the chief Legal Officer of a new
generation bank. I am 44 years old I met my wife at law school. Her
name is Barrister Aisha Malumfashi and she was my wife for 10 years
Aisha was a powerhouse of intellect. What attracted me to her was her
brilliance in class always answering questions even during group
discussions her contributions were always brilliant and thought
provoking. I was floored I also considered myself quite the guru, having
graduated with a 2.1 from Ahmadu Bello University. Aisha was my equal
intellectually she was and still is a powerful mix of brains, beauty and
booty we were in the same study group so it was easy for us to become
close friends quite fast despite all her assets Aisha is one of the most
humble women I have ever met in my life. So humble and down to earth
unlike most people.
We decided to get married without any of that love nonsense; we were great friends and it was enough we decided to get married after our service year. Aisha was a great sport she didn’t want any Lefe or ceremony and so we got married and we were happy we both got jobs and life was good, we were not money crazy like the youth of today.
The first year rolled by with the usual hiccups and up and down of settling into life as husband and wife, after our 2nd anniversary we started trying for a baby. Our marriage was fine and our friendship was rock solid, what could go wrong?
It was 4 years of marriage and 2 years of trying for a baby that we realized something was wrong and that’s how the barrage of tests started. Naturally, only Aisha was subject to these tests because I was presumed to be virile (LOL) After all the tests, my friend Dr Khalid certified Aisha healthy and fertile, we were advised to wait for Gods time.
It was the dawn of the new millennium; we had been married for 9 years, we were both very successful attorneys and no child at this time things started to get bad and confusing, my parents blamed Aisha. The bad blood started between my wife and my family things escalated quickly and before I knew it my home on Rabah Rd was invaded by Malams and Rubutu Aisha started getting desperate and I did not like it. Why should she be desperate saboda Allah da Annabi?
Things got so desperate that Aisha herself pleaded with me to take another wife I flatly refused, I told her I was disappointed in her, Haba! Meanwhile deep down I knew why we were childless.
You see, I knew that I was impotent. I had known since my days at ABU that I couldn’t get a woman pregnant. How did I know you ask? Well permit me to explain. Back in university I had a girl friend Godiya.
Godiya was a pharmacy student and she was always cheating on me with the big boys on campus, Godiya got pregnant in her 2nd year while I was in my 3rd year. She insisted I was the father. I wasn’t ready to accept. Long story short, my friend Khalid told me to go for a sperm motility test, I did. I still remember the smell of the air freshener of the doctor’s office when I was flatly told I would have challenges fathering kids, I still remember the look on the doctor’s face and all these years I had lived with having empty sperm.
Literally now that Aisha was getting desperate I knew I had to do something to preserve my secret before she found out, so I went to Dr Khalid my dear old friend for advice and right there in his office we hatched a plan to get Aisha Pregnant. The plan was that he would prescribe a sedative for Aisha and ask her to take the drug at bedtime. He would tell her it would help with increasing her chances of getting pregnant, we reasoned Aisha trusted him enough not to ask too many questions and we also figured a desperate woman would accept anything. I told myself it was for the greater good of my marriage to do this and so Aisha took the drug some nights later. I let my friend into our bedroom and he made love to my wife. We did this about 5 times; Aisha always assumed I was the one who had been intimate with her while she was knocked out. And some months later she was pregnant.
9 months later my son was born, I named him Abubakar. I honestly was overjoyed, Khalid was a genius. All was well and blissful in my life, I fell in love watching my wife become a doting mom, reconciled with her in-laws she was happy it was after Abubakar’s 2nd birthday that he started getting sick. He was always sick, running high fevers and we were worried, after several trips to the hospital, our son was diagnosed with Sickle Cell Disease. He would be in pain most of his life, I was shattered. The guilt was eating me up; I knew why this had happened.
You see in my haste to get a child, I forgot that my friend and my wife had AS genotype I was AA, there was no way Aisha was gonna miss this, she would figure everything out and I would lose everything and so I decided to come clean Aisha had literally beaten up the doctor because she insisted she was AS and I was AA as we sat by our son’s hospital bed I confessed to Aisha, I told her everything; She was hysterical, she would never forgive me for sure she would probably kill me what I did was unforgivable. I was even more devastated when 2 days later Abubakar passed away. Inna Lillahi wa Inna Ilaihi Rajiun.
For a while I thought that Aisha and I could fix our marriage I was doing all I could to be there for her Aisha was having none of it, she went to her waliy and told him everything. I was invited with my waliyy I was so ashamed that meeting was the longest meeting ever, it was the most painful 2 hours in my life. I sat there and saw her anguish and her pain Aisha asked me straight up for a divorce. I was so ashamed and guilty I wanted us to fix things. I didn’t want her to leave me I didn’t want my secret to be out I was a popular high flying lawyer in Kaduna and yet I was an empty shell of a man, Aisha knew this and she threatened to take me to court if I refused to give her a divorce, that is how I divorced my Aisha after 10 years of marriage, after all her kindness and friendship and loyalty, I repaid her like this I still have trouble sleeping. I have cut all ties with Dr Khalid.
I am still unmarried, the guilt still eating me up.
Thank you for sharing my #DivorceDiaries I hope people will learn from my story. God Bless.
What would you do if you were Aisha?
We decided to get married without any of that love nonsense; we were great friends and it was enough we decided to get married after our service year. Aisha was a great sport she didn’t want any Lefe or ceremony and so we got married and we were happy we both got jobs and life was good, we were not money crazy like the youth of today.
The first year rolled by with the usual hiccups and up and down of settling into life as husband and wife, after our 2nd anniversary we started trying for a baby. Our marriage was fine and our friendship was rock solid, what could go wrong?
It was 4 years of marriage and 2 years of trying for a baby that we realized something was wrong and that’s how the barrage of tests started. Naturally, only Aisha was subject to these tests because I was presumed to be virile (LOL) After all the tests, my friend Dr Khalid certified Aisha healthy and fertile, we were advised to wait for Gods time.
It was the dawn of the new millennium; we had been married for 9 years, we were both very successful attorneys and no child at this time things started to get bad and confusing, my parents blamed Aisha. The bad blood started between my wife and my family things escalated quickly and before I knew it my home on Rabah Rd was invaded by Malams and Rubutu Aisha started getting desperate and I did not like it. Why should she be desperate saboda Allah da Annabi?
Things got so desperate that Aisha herself pleaded with me to take another wife I flatly refused, I told her I was disappointed in her, Haba! Meanwhile deep down I knew why we were childless.
You see, I knew that I was impotent. I had known since my days at ABU that I couldn’t get a woman pregnant. How did I know you ask? Well permit me to explain. Back in university I had a girl friend Godiya.
Godiya was a pharmacy student and she was always cheating on me with the big boys on campus, Godiya got pregnant in her 2nd year while I was in my 3rd year. She insisted I was the father. I wasn’t ready to accept. Long story short, my friend Khalid told me to go for a sperm motility test, I did. I still remember the smell of the air freshener of the doctor’s office when I was flatly told I would have challenges fathering kids, I still remember the look on the doctor’s face and all these years I had lived with having empty sperm.
Literally now that Aisha was getting desperate I knew I had to do something to preserve my secret before she found out, so I went to Dr Khalid my dear old friend for advice and right there in his office we hatched a plan to get Aisha Pregnant. The plan was that he would prescribe a sedative for Aisha and ask her to take the drug at bedtime. He would tell her it would help with increasing her chances of getting pregnant, we reasoned Aisha trusted him enough not to ask too many questions and we also figured a desperate woman would accept anything. I told myself it was for the greater good of my marriage to do this and so Aisha took the drug some nights later. I let my friend into our bedroom and he made love to my wife. We did this about 5 times; Aisha always assumed I was the one who had been intimate with her while she was knocked out. And some months later she was pregnant.
9 months later my son was born, I named him Abubakar. I honestly was overjoyed, Khalid was a genius. All was well and blissful in my life, I fell in love watching my wife become a doting mom, reconciled with her in-laws she was happy it was after Abubakar’s 2nd birthday that he started getting sick. He was always sick, running high fevers and we were worried, after several trips to the hospital, our son was diagnosed with Sickle Cell Disease. He would be in pain most of his life, I was shattered. The guilt was eating me up; I knew why this had happened.
You see in my haste to get a child, I forgot that my friend and my wife had AS genotype I was AA, there was no way Aisha was gonna miss this, she would figure everything out and I would lose everything and so I decided to come clean Aisha had literally beaten up the doctor because she insisted she was AS and I was AA as we sat by our son’s hospital bed I confessed to Aisha, I told her everything; She was hysterical, she would never forgive me for sure she would probably kill me what I did was unforgivable. I was even more devastated when 2 days later Abubakar passed away. Inna Lillahi wa Inna Ilaihi Rajiun.
For a while I thought that Aisha and I could fix our marriage I was doing all I could to be there for her Aisha was having none of it, she went to her waliy and told him everything. I was invited with my waliyy I was so ashamed that meeting was the longest meeting ever, it was the most painful 2 hours in my life. I sat there and saw her anguish and her pain Aisha asked me straight up for a divorce. I was so ashamed and guilty I wanted us to fix things. I didn’t want her to leave me I didn’t want my secret to be out I was a popular high flying lawyer in Kaduna and yet I was an empty shell of a man, Aisha knew this and she threatened to take me to court if I refused to give her a divorce, that is how I divorced my Aisha after 10 years of marriage, after all her kindness and friendship and loyalty, I repaid her like this I still have trouble sleeping. I have cut all ties with Dr Khalid.
I am still unmarried, the guilt still eating me up.
Thank you for sharing my #DivorceDiaries I hope people will learn from my story. God Bless.
What would you do if you were Aisha?
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