Hope everyone is enjoying his/her or her new year break, as for me I am Alhamdulillah. I have been sharing some touching stories about relationship, divorce, rape and other similar stories but I have never share something like this, since it’s a new year why don’t we try something new? Yeah, am going to be talking about guys this week how we guys don’t appreciate our wife, girlfriend or even daughters. I know what you thinking the ladies now….Skillz ya tabo muku inda yake muku ciwo ko? But this is for the married guys and whenever you read about problems of couples you won’t escape these, why is that always repeating? Guys we can change all that and be the guy she fall in love with from the first
place it’s not that hard, okay I know what you’re thinking too (guys) “Sai Kace Ba Namiji Bane Kai kazoo zaka kwaye mana baya kai irin Mr Right dinnan ko mtcheww am not reading again!!! Do me a favor and continue to the best part am also guilty but its our fault 87% of guys are guilty.
Let’s start with the men that make their wives beg for everything they need/want. You keep her at home while her mates are doing something useful with their lives. She cooks, cleans, and attends to you. These are things some working class people don’t do for their husbands. Okay ladies bance karku ma mijinku aikin gida ba fa, ba ruwan aliyu fa.
Release the woman to fly and be successful like her fellow women; you won’t do that. Okay; on your instruction, she sits at home from morning till night and earns nothing to take care of herself. The poor woman has to beg and crawl on the floor for her master before she gets money to buy sanitary pad. Believe me there are men like that, I asked myself is she not the same woman he chase outside before he marry? Is that the way you treat her outside? Bro why the sudden change? What about clothes and cosmetics? That shouldn’t be mentioned as the same man who crippled her is the one reminding her that her mates are top CEOs. Okay they’re top CEOs but she chose you not to work and sacrifice her career for the sake of the family, how would you feel if every day your wife have to go work that demands much of her time like a banking job from 6am-6pm?
You buy clothes and good things for yourself but expect her to go buy China for herself. Are you not a selfish and wicked man? She has a university degree and her heart breaks each time she sees her school mates. She remembers that she was among the top five graduating students and now, she is useless in your house. And if you think she’s useless, take over the running of the home for one week and let’s see how it goes. Kwamacala kenan!
You drive a very clean car but get her a rickety one because, according to you, she does nothing useful for you. Like seriously? Your own wife fa haba? Did you love and marry her or she was married for you?
Some will tell the woman that they own all the vehicles and houses because they are one. I once called a male friend to the side as he ignorantly told this lie to his wife. He only came to his senses after I reminded him that the business name he had on the vehicles and home belonged to him and his brothers and the very moment anything happens to him, the poor woman who is permanently a housewife, would be out in the cold.
Thank God he listened to me and got his wife’s name into everything but this happen only to the Christians, Thank God for Islam Mata na cin gado. Your spouse is the closest person to you. Even my brothers know that they cannot come to me with a secret they should keep with their wives. I use every opportunity to remind them that their wives matter more than us and our parents. Hope you won’t twist my words here… Never support such; God frowns at it. If you don’t trust your wife enough, you shouldn’t be closing your eyes at night beside her; you shouldn’t be eating her food.
She is your wife, your glory. Everything about you, your goodness, glory, generosity, and godliness should be seen on your wife. You laugh with others outside but become Id El Amin once you step into your home. Har kaji wani na cewa ni ai mata ta bata isa tayi tari mai karfi ba idan ina gida, haba toh ance ma burgewa kayi? Prophet Muhammad PBUH play with his wives and help them do house chore, ko kai ka fishi waye wa ne??
The worst thing is you compliment every woman at work but don’t even notice your wife’s new hairdo. What a shame.
Sir, if your wife is not working, you should know that every woman needs money to look good. Stop counting how many times she asks for money. Give her money monthly for her upkeep and keep your eyes away from how she spends it on herself.
That woman is not your daughter neither is she your sister or female colleague. She is special and must be treated so. She is your wife. She is your glory. She is one with you. Treat her the way you treat yourself.
Parents, please start teaching your sons how wives should be treated. Always sing it to their ears that women are to be pampered and not treated as fellow men. This generation is losing it. If you stop a woman from flying and getting to the peak of her career, it would be wicked of you not to give her all that she needs to be fulfilled.
Thank God for those good men who love their wives and treat them as queens. Even though their wives are full time housewives, they pay them what their mates earn and if they can’t afford that, they make sure they give what they can afford. Such men are forever blessed.
Here is something about what the Quran and Hadith says about been a good husband:
God instructs men to be nice to their wives and to treat them well to the best of their ability:
"…And live with them in kindness…" (Quran 4:19)
The Messenger of God said, The most perfect of believers in belief is the best of them in character. The best of you are those who are the best to their women.’ The Prophet of Mercy tells us that a husband’s treatment of his wife reflects a Muslim’s good character, which in turn is a reflection of the man’s faith. How can a Muslim husband be good to his wife? He should smile, not hurt her emotionally, remove anything that will harm her, treat her gently, and be patient with her.
Being nice includes good communication. A husband should be willing to open up, and be willing to listen to his wife. Many times a husband wants to air his frustrations (like work). He should not forget to ask her about what annoys her (like when children would not do their homework). A husband should not talk about important things with her when he or his wife is angry, tired, or hungry. Communication, compromise, and consideration are the cornerstone of marriage.
Being nice includes encouraging one’s wife. The most meaningful admiration comes from a sincere heart that notices what really matters — what the wife really values. So a husband should ask himself what she feels most insecure about and discover what she values. That is the wife’s sweet spot of praise. The more the husband compliments it, the more the wife will admire it, the more on target this healthy habit will be. Kind words are like, "I like the way you think," "You look beautiful in those clothes," and "I love hearing your voice on the phone."
Human beings are imperfect. The Messenger of God said, "A believing man should not hate a believing woman. If he dislikes something in her character, he should be pleased with some other trait of hers." A man should not hate his wife because if he dislikes something in her, he will find something he likes about her if he gives it a chance. One way to be aware of what he likes in his wife is for the husband to make a list of a half dozen things he appreciates about her. Marriage experts recommend that one be as specific as possible and focus on character traits — just as the Prophet of Islam recommended, not just what she does for the husband. For example, a husband may appreciate the way she arranges his clean laundry, but the underlying character trait may be that she is thoughtful. The husband should consider admirable traits such as being compassionate, generous, kind, devout, creative, elegant, honest, affectionate, energetic, gentle, optimistic, committed, faithful, confident, cheerful, and so on. A husband should give himself some time to construct this list, and review it in times of conflict when he is most likely to feel averse towards his wife. It will help him be more aware of his wife’s good attributes and far more likely to compliment them.
A companion asked the Prophet of God what is the right of a wife over her husband?’ He said, "That you feed her when you eat and clothe her when you clothe yourself and do not strike her face. Do not malign her and do not keep apart from her, except in the house."
Conflict in marriage is virtually inevitable and it leads to lot of anger. Although anger is one of the most difficult emotions to manage, the first step toward controlling it can be learning how to forgive those who hurt us. In case of conflict, a husband should not stop talking to his wife and emotionally hurt her, but he may stop sleeping in the same bed if it will improve the situation. Under no circumstance, even when he is angry or somehow feels justified, is a husband allowed to malign her by using hurtful words or cause her any injury.
Problems are Universal— and Help is Always Near
Every single person in this world is facing some sort of trial or test. There may be some facing trials in education, others in their jobs, still others in their businesses, and still more facing problems with family or friends. But Allah (swt) says:
Oh you who believe! Seek help with patient perseverance and prayer, for God is with those who patiently persevere. ~Chapter 2, Verse 153
For those who exercise patience, Allah (swt) will help and show a way out of every difficulty.
And for those who fear Allah, He (ever) prepares a way out,
And He provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine. And if any one puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is (Allah) for him. For Allah will surely accomplish his purpose: verily, for all things has Allah appointed a due proportion. ~
Chapter 65, Verse 2-3
Hope my piece of words help and don’t hate me for this please. Ladies keep doing the good work at home and be the best wife you can be to your husband even when he treat you bad remember divorce is not always the option, remember your children what would happen to them when you are out.
Those who when disaster strikes them, say, “We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return”. Those are the people who will have blessings and mercy from their Lord; they are the ones who are guided. Quran Chapter 2 Verse 155-157
Thanks for reading my blog
Aliyu Muhammed Skillz
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